Touching Your Partner

Many people think that how they touch their partner is fine or that it is not important, but it can make a big difference to your sexual pleasure as well as the closeness of your relationship.

Sometimes things as simple as touching, hugging and kissing can be forgotten in the heat of the moment when a couple is having sex. However, the pleasure can be much greater if the couple learn to slow down and spend some time touching each other before hand.

For example if they spend some time kissing and hugging, they will be able to associate the sex with actually making love. They will feel intimate and loving rather than just pleasuring those basic instincts. This will help to develop the relationship.


Things could be taken a bit further with some specific massage. It is nice to be able to take in turns in massaging each other as there is a lot of pleasure to be gained both from giving and receiving. This does not need to be a massage of the genitals or other erogenous zones but could just be any parts of the body. It could be a good time to find out new erogenous zones or just touch areas which have never really been explored before. There may be areas of your partners body that they do not like and touching those areas may help them to like them by showing them that you like them but it may just make them feel bad that you have noticed them. It may therefore be worth talking first about what areas to concentrate on.

The most important thing about this sort of exercise is to do it at a time when you will not be disturbed, when you have lots of time and when you are fully relaxed. No one wants to receive a massage from someone who is rushed and stressed! Even if you are just touching and exploring each other, it is still good to have a lot of time, especially if this is the first time that you have done this for a while.

It is important to remember that your partner only knows how it feels to touch themselves and so they may need guidance. Try to express how you are feeling, when something feels good tell them or ask them to be gentler or harder, faster or slower. As long as you have discussed this first it should be a good way of you both getting better at touching each others bodies. It is good to guide each others hands, talk through what is good and they may even find new sensitive areas of the body. It can be a very enlightening experience for the both of you.

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